Death, mourning and recovery in family and friends circle shatter the person. It disrupts their routine, makes them more emotional and in some cases shuts them down for some time based on the closeness of connection to the person who died. Now if this was to combine with the factor of the first death one ever encountered in their life, then the impact would be profound. The first death that I encountered was that of my grandmother. She was a significant impact in my life and we were really close. I was around 13 when she died and it left me hollow inside. I remember it was a summer holiday and most of my friends were visiting their family or were in camp and it made the circumstance all the harder. Even when school resumed I faced a difficult time getting back to normal routine and socialization. It was with the help of the school counsellor that I was able to resume my normal routine.
Although the counselor did not prescribe the exact communication steps or concepts I think helped me, her advice was more or less on the same lines. Primarily she had me working on my psychological noise. Although my counselor did not mention this term, I remember her stating that this form of a loss happens in everybody’s life and hence I should strive to understand that death affects everybody. I was carrying a lot of internal anger on my friends as I felt they were not more understanding. I believed they were going on with their normal routines while I was grieving for my grandmother. I thought they were being selfish and I even believed that I could have been a better support to them than they were to me. I was in fact blocking out all the support they were offering as semantic noise because I was not interested. By understanding my own psychological noises, I was able to better reconnect with them.